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Going to the Mississippi to do some listening, learning, and writing

Just signed up to attend the David R. Collins Writers’ Conference next week (next week!) in Davenport, Iowa.

Once upon a time, in a previous life, I was going to move to Iowa City to attend the Iowa Writer’s Workshop in Iowa City, while my then-fiancé was going to work on his masters in film studies at the university. As things turned out, I only ended up driving out there with him and his mother to check the school out and interview at a LensCrafters in Cedar Rapids to see if I could transfer there, before he broke off our engagement so he could go off alone and find himself. I did drive out to visit him one time after he had started classes, a 10 hour drive from Detroit listening to “Heart of Darkness” on cassette as I drove alone through the middle of nowhere at night in spite of my long-standing fear of driving down a deserted road alone at night and having a stranger covered in blood stagger into the path of my headlights.

But this time I am going to Davenport, to take a 3 day novel writing workshop with one of my favorite writers, Jac Jemc, a workshop designed to help us discover ways to create the groundwork for a novel. As the proud creator of completed rough drafts of two novels and incomplete rough drafts of at least six other novels, none of which were created with anything resembling an outline, I could really use this class. And mainly, I love Jemc’s writing and have been waiting for an opportunity to learn from her.

There are other workshops I’ll be taking at the conference as well, and am particularly curious about the “Ecstatic Essay” workshop Rachel Yoder will be leading, since she mentions “visits from psychics” and “alchemic experimentation”.

I should also mention that the 17 year Magicicada Brood III is making its appearance in Iowa and western Illinois this year, and while there have not been any sightings so far in Davenport, I’m hoping a few stragglers may make their way over to the river to visit me. Brood XIII was out here in 2007 and it was one of the most amazing experiences in my life. I’ve been fascinated by cicadas since I was a child, and over the years they’ve always appeared magical to me, as if their very appearance in my life has been a sign, of what I don’t know, but something significant all the same.

Ginger Boy Wizard

When I meet my #1 movie star idol
in the long make-believe hallway
of his movie set school
he sneaks up on me
like a little Jack Russell terrier.
But he’s not little at all,
he’s big!
So big
big and red
His hair is like hard strawberry candy
shining in the studio lights
and his skin is so white and translucent
like sweet sticky rice
the little blue and red veins just under the surface
like strings of cotton candy fluff
spinning round and round in the machine at the fair and
“O! His eyelashes are like honey!” I say to the invisible translator
not sticky, but the color where the light passes through them
My fingers get itchy
his are balled into fists shoved into the pockets of his pants
–not that i am looking there!–
I clutch my notebook to my face
hiding my mouth and chin behind them
the way his character in the movie
clutches his pillow to his chest
smiling and nodding at his friend
hello hello hello hello
bowing nodding smiling
I ask if I can touch his ginger eyelashes
He says yes!
His smile is so full of glee
I can see all of his big white perfect teeth
like little pieces of gum lined up in a row
as he leans forward eyelashes fluttering slightly as they close
and I lean forward stretching out one fingertip
testing the air between us
the vibrations tell me “all systems go!”
I lightly stroke my finger across the feathery edges
and as each golden strand pops back into place
I feel a little tapioca pearl pop up from my belly into my mouth
until the giggles come out like bubble tea
He opens his eyes and stands back up straight
giggling too
I put my fingers to my face and smell them
inhaling his scent off my skin
Smell is connected to memory and taste
so I lick them!
To seal them in my mind, with this moment
I gently pat his chest through his sweater
so solid and warm and something almost tangy in the air
I whisper to the invisible translator
“He smells really good!”
“You smell nice, too” he says, so polite
Me! But everyone tells me I smell like an old lady
He looks between me and the invisible translator
still smiling but there is a curve at the end
like a quail feather
Did the translator translate my words incorrectly?
I want him to know
I mean the scent of lavender and rose water
not mothballs and cedar covering the smell of decay
at least I think that’s what everyone meant
I never actually asked
An image sneaks into my head
I remind him of how his fake movie girlfriend
jumped on his back like a kitten
and he carried her through the halls
with her tiny claws in his skin
and when he is busy remembering
I sneak in from the side and ask
if he will carry me like this too!
Yes, alright, yes, he says
so gracious is my movie star boyfriend
I know we are connecting
when he backs towards the wall
so I can climb on
and he wraps his arms back behind him
around my thighs between where my socks end
and my skirt begins
his soft warm hands are like octopus tentacles
smooth and delicate but surprisingly strong
you know there is nowhere to go
except to be bitten with one hard poisonous beak
as we ride up and down the hallways.


I was inspired by this video to write the above poem: